What is a healthy relationship?
Healthy relationships involve honesty, trust, respect, and open communication between partners, and they take effort and compromise from both people. There is no imbalance of power. Partners respect each other's independence, can make their own decisions without fear of retribution or retaliation, and share decisions.
Signs of Healthy Relationship
Your Relationship Rights
- Make sure you have a positive relationship with yourself!
- Accept and celebrate that we are all different.
- Actively listen to hear what people have to say.
- Give people time and be “present” when you are with them.
- Develop and work on your communication skills.
- Learn to be understanding and empathetic.
Maintaining Healthy Relationships
- To express my opinion and have it heard.
- To change my mind.
- To choose if and when I want to have sex or fool around.
- To use safe practices.
- Not to be emotionally, physically, or sexually abused.
- To choose to stop having sex or fooling around anytime, even during.
- To choose my friends or partners.
- To end a relationship without fear of negative repercussions.
What is an unhealthy relationship?
- Lying and Minimizing
Arguments started with family and friends.
- Assault and Abuse
Including threats if you leave.
Want you to be available all of the time.
Lacking of trust.
Affectionate one minute and distant the next.
- Full of games
Playing the victim, looking for pity, threatening suicide.
Intentional use of abuse (physical, sexual, verbal or emotional), by one person in the relationship to harm, threaten, intimidate and/or control the other person.
10 Warning Signs of Abuse
- Checking your phone or email without permission
- Constantly putting you down
- Extreme jealousy or insecurity
- Explosive temper
- Isolating you from your family or friends
- Making false accusations
- Mood swings
- Physically hurting you in any way
- Telling you what to do
Why do people stay in abusive relationships?
FearAfraid to leave.
Threats of harm to self, pets, family etc.
Hope for ChangeThinking things can change – it’s just a phase.
Low Self-EsteemBelieving abuse is their fault/they deserve it.
LoveRelationship is not entirely bad...
“I really love them when things are good”
When someone forces ANY sexual activity on you WITHOUT your consent. This includes sexual touching, threats to get sex and getting you drunk or high to have sex.
- VOLUNTARY agreement to engage in sexual activity. No one can touch you sexually unless you are capable (sober and clear headed) to consent.
Age of Consent
- Age of consent for sexual activity = 16
- Age 14 /15 – can consent to sex with someone LESS than 5 years older.
- If you are 16 and have had sex with someone older than the max age limit, they are in trouble, not you.
- If you are under 18, you can’t have a sexual relationship with someone in a position of power.
When you share a naked or “sexually explicit” image of yourself, primarily between mobile phones. Intimate Image (by law) shows a person exposing their breasts, genitals or anal region or it depicts them engaging in explicit sexual activity. (not touching or kissing)
Risks of sexting
- If you take and/or share a naked or sexually explicit image of someone under 18 (including yourself), you can be charged with a child pornography offence under the Youth Criminal Justice Act.
- Easily shared widely, especially with social media.
- You have no control over what someone else does with your picture once they have it.
- Risk of severe depression/loss of control.
- Blackmail or revenge porn.
How can you help a friend?
- Listen - Be supportive and patient.
- Tell your friend that you are concerned for their safety.
- Acknowledge that the abuse is NOT THEIR FAULT.
- Do not judge or criticize.
- Help with a safety plan to prevent future harm.
- NEVER confront the abuser.
- Encourage your friend to seek help.
- Know your boundaries and abilities – know who the trusted adults are that you can go to for support.
- Know your friend and take the approach that is most comfortable for you both.
e-mental health services available 24/7 across Canadakidshelpphone.ca
Surrey RCMP Non-Emergency
Call 604 599 0502bc-cb.rcmp-grc.gc.ca
Surrey Schools PSST
Call 604 596 7733psst-bc.ca
Talk to someone you trust – adult, friend, family.